Let’s Talk About “Netflix + Chill” Baby!

Hey, hip people, hippies and hipsters! Ever heard of the term “Netflix and Chill”? Some of you are probably saying “Yeah, brah.” and others not so much. For my friends, who are like me and aren’t as up to date with the cool lingo kids are using these days I have some fun facts for you. Next time another human person sends you one of these messages, it may not immediately be what you’re imagining (especially if there’s a winky face included).

Here’s the official urban dictionary’s definition of the term:

Netflix and Chill

It means that you are going to go over to your partner’s house and fuck with Netflix in the background.

 

Woah, wait just a minute! When I first heard this phrase, I thought it was so nice and sweet because that’s the ultimate way to get to know someone (like me anyway) in any sort of relationship. We’ll sit down, binge watch my and your favorite shows and ultimately become closer afterwards; pure awesomeness. My mind was no where near the topic of doing all types of hanky panky and it’s not because I’m a prude. I’m just a really literal person and take my television watching very seriously (…what? I’m dedicated as hell).

In fact, I’ve had a couple of disagreements with people I’ve talked to about this usage and perhaps you do as well. Either way I just think “Netflix and Chill” is extremely misleading mostly because (as a person who hardcore binges on TV) I can’t really focus on two separate activities of that caliber. Each thing is awesome and enjoyable, but depending on the mood and what show is being selected, that just isn’t conceivable. I usually watch Netflix to watch an entire series within 5 days or less and I’m the person who also HATES missing things. Little details like whispered lines, movements, stank faces…I want to see it all to experience the full picture of what’s going on. If you talk too much while I’m watching, I’ll shush you and if it’s really important I’ll just tell you to SHUT UP and sincerely apologize later on. Unfortunately, I do not allow others to get in the way of my serious television watching. If you wanna suck on my face and do other stuff it has to be afterwards. Maybe a little while afterwards because I’ll want to discuss my thoughts and feelings, which is secretly why I would have you there in the first place. Now, if we’re watching something I’ve already seen before and/or doesn’t require your immediate attention in order to be enjoyable, then sure have at, let’s get it on as Marvin Gaye intended! Otherwise forget it, brah. You can’t possibly get in between the intensity that is my relationship with Jessica Jones, Parks and Recreation or any other show I’m obsessed with at the time (what we have is special!). Now, if you stay on my good side, bring snacks, pretend to be/are actually interested in my show and discuss it with me afterwards, you’ll probably have some good adult fun as an after party!

So yeah, that whole phrase is a little misleading for me, but maybe not for others and that’s fine, I just think it’s hilarious how popular it has become in the last year. It also got me thinking about what terms have been used thus far in history to indicate “getting down and dirty” with a partner. I’m just oh so curious as to the ways our weirdo species has decided to flirt and court one another! Use these at your own discretion, kids! I’ve heard let’s: bone, fuck, hide the sausage, do the dirty deed, make the beast with two backs (which I personally did not get until recently), do the hanky panky, fornicate, have relations, copulate, make love, hook up, get busy, fool around and of course simply do it. There’s so many ways it’s astounding and quite entertaining to see what people choose over others. I even knew a guy who used the term “canoodle”, which I had to ask about and fell into a fit giggles.

I also looked up some I did not know like: root (an Australian term for “doing it”). Honestly that one sounds pretty serious like we’re about to undertake a journey where we become trees, which is also something I cannot do while watching Netflix so…looks like we’re back at square one! Hmmm….

-February 2nd, 2016 N

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